I was looking in the gutter
when I saw this little note,
So I picked it up and read it,
and somebody had wrote;


"You'll never get to Heaven
if you keep on looking down".
So I straightened up my shoulders;
then I gave a little frown



For as I raised my head up,
to look into the sky,
A dirty little birdie
dropped a hot-shot in my eye.



It stung more than a little,
but I struggled with my hurt
And I bravely kept on walking;
then I stood in doggy dirt.



I slipped, and then I skidded,
and I hit a rubbish bin.



I cried out for assistance,
but alas, I still fell in,



And then a passing stranger,
who had failed to see me skid.
Thought the place looked too untidy,
and replaced the dustbin lid.



So I sat there in the debris,
and I thought Now here’s a lark,
I’m cold and wet and dirty,
and I’m sitting in the dark.



I couldn’t get the lid off,
but I bit my bottom lip,
As I huffed and puffed and
struggled till I felt my trousers rip.
At last, distressed and thirsty,
I just had to fall asleep,
And while I slept, the binmen
took me to the refuse heap.



They thought I was a dummy,
and they left me in a mess,
For they pinched my coat and trousers,
and they caused me much distress.



Alone, so cold and naked,
for all the world to mock.
I rummaged through the rubbish,
till I found this tatty frock.

I hurried home for dinner,
as the day was getting late,
But as I passed the school yard,
I was stopped outside the gate.


The policeman, from a distance,
(for he didn’t like my stench),
Said he thought I was a pervert,
and he brought me to the Bench.


"I know that I’ve been stupid,
and I’ve looked above my station
But I really hope, Your Honour,
you’ll accept my explanation."



The Judge looked down upon me,
and he said, A likely tale!
You’re a lecherous punk rocker,
and I’m sending you to jail.
So I won’t be going upwards
in a heavenly ascent.



I’ll be going down to prison,
for the Judge thinks I am bent.